Consider occasions when you may have allowed an aversive emotion such as your anger, stress, hurt, fear or shame to overwhelm you and cause you to react negatively in a valuable relationship or situation.  While this happens to all of us, very few of us take the time to identify the dynamics of what is transpiring.  The vast majority of those instances that are charged with destructive emotions lead us into senseless arguments, hurtful words and inevitably bring out the very worst in us and prompt others to do the same.  While aversive emotions like those mentioned above are felt by all and perfectly acceptable, when their existence becomes our focus they will prompt us to react in destructive ways toward ourselves and others.  This usually occurs when we perceive a threat to our sense of self worth that we react defensively out of these and possibly other emotions. 

There exists with virtually everyone imperfect, oh yeah, everyone, a gap between the person we are and the person that we would ideally like to be or at least portray to others.  The frequent pursuit of portraying a particular image is a pitfall that leads to an inability to accept ourselves for who and where we are in various areas of our lives right now.  For most, that entails a need to feel or see ourselves as competent and successful in those areas of life that we have deemed most important and critical to who we are.  Sometimes that gap is more like a canyon or it may only feel that way when we're focused on our apparent flaws.  For others, in particular areas, reaching their potential or ideal may appear only a step away.